Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Booyong Fettuccini-Sucking Championships

What To Do With Fettuccini Bolognaise? Well, if you're ten and twelve years old respectively, you just *must* take the opportunity to hold ...

The Booyong Fettuccini-Sucking Championships!!

The contestants must each take a strand of cooked fettuccini of equal length. The longer the fettuccini, the better.

The contestants must each hold one centimetre of fettuccini in their mouth and let the rest dangle down their chins.

This is serious. Don't smile. Smiling is not conducive to successful outcomes of the Championships.

An outsider not in the running for the Championships must count down from three and say "Go!" The outsider must attempt not to smile however hard this may seem to be.

At the word Go, the contestants must suck the fettuccini as quickly as possible into their mouth.

Remember: laughing on the part of the participants is catastrophic and not conducive to successful outcomes of the Championships.

Laughing helplessly and falling off one's chair and onto the floor is *particularly* not conducive to successful outcomes of the Championships.

Five rounds are generally sufficient to determine the Great Booyong Fettuccini-Sucking Champion, and to render the rest of the family absolutely feeble with laughter.

PS: Older siblings are of course, permitted to take part. They're generally hopeless at it anyway 'cos they just *lose it* :-)

2 comments:

Marc said...

Hmmm, this does remind one of the hose-blowing contests, in which we see which of the two contestants can blow the hardest on a shared piece of hose. The loser gets a fast lungful of air from the winner, which blasts out of their nose, and we have snot everywhere! And not to forget the famous Mintie stuffing contests - how many Minties can you get into your gob? This usually results in all contestants staggering home hysterical with laughter, jaws locked open with a solid mass of fused-together Minties, and drooling helplessly.

Ongel said...

Tess and Yarrow need to know that their mother and their uncle were well into their thirties and they were still having Mintie contests!!!